A Brief Satirical Political Science Comment on the new U.S. state of Czechia
As I write this satirical comment, there are still war operations going on in Ukraine about 900 miles from me. I happened to read a gloss today by an unnamed publicist that talks about the “victorious Russian side”.
But even America is winning at this point in January 2025. And its victory will look much more impressive. It is already being written about almost everywhere. That Presidents Trump and Putin will meet soon in Bratislava, Slovakia. That there will also be a JALTA conference number two. It is said to be a meeting between the US, the Russian Federation and China. Maybe they will invite India, who knows? But where is the “famous” Ukraine? Is it just to clarify the global situation? So who are the losers in this clash? The answer is that it is the Ukraine and the European Union. So, figuratively, we in the Czech Republic (Czechia) as well. Yes, we have to admit it. Everyone gains, only we in Europe lose. And a lot.
The situation will allow the United States to annex Greenland, Canada and Panama with its shipping channel. Russia will bring Ukraine under its influence and sell its pipelines to Europe to the Americans. We will then buy Russian gas and oil at American prices, just like the Germans, Poles and others. China may finally get its Taiwan, or more likely not. But it has some small chance of doing so. In other words: the whole EU will finally become a real colony of the US. A great option for the Americans. The Russians and Chinese can defend themselves, the EU cannot. It’s easy prey for predators.
What can be done about it? Maybe a “very moderate rebellion”. Go into a timid “lace” war together with other countries in Europe. Not against Russia. Against the Americans, of course. Just as the Americans went to war against the imperial arrogance of England over two hundred years ago. For liberty, equality, and (like the French later) perhaps fraternity. It doesn’t have to be a vicious and open war today, it can take other more elegant and subtle forms. And the aim of that noble war? No independence for our small nation-state or even for Europe. That is nonsense in an age of advanced science and technology. The goal should be for the entire EU to become part of the US.
In short, ladies and gentlemen of the American people, you cannot just take Greenland, Canada, Panama, Russian pipelines and issue dollars at will, which would suit the American economy, which is currently built on parasitism, best. You have to take us too. You have to start taking care of us too. You can’t just ruthlessly exploit us. We also want to be citizens of the USA, as the Greenlanders will be! We want American civil rights and responsibilities. We want to vote for an American president. We want to build a Euro-Atlantic area based on equality. It is a pity that there is no political figure in Europe who has the political heavyweight to do so. In one fell swoop we would get rid of colonial subordination, rampant American and German exploitation, our treacherous and stupid politicians, high tariffs, the Green Deal, the Brussels “Moloch” and the embarrassing so-called Russian threat. German and Czech companies would become American companies (if they are not already). Then even US weapons and bases and English teaching from 1st grade elementary school would make some sense in the U.S. state of Czechia.
This strategy has been used at times in history as well. For example, some Etruscan peoples fought bloody battles with the Romans in ancient times for a similar cause. Their goal was to become full citizens of Rome. The Samnites, for example, behaved meaningfully in this way.
But what would they say in Mexico? Maybe this: “Mr. President Trump, don’t build any more border walls. Your new U.S. state of Old Mexico is going to vote for Republicans!” In short, Mexicans also probably know that it is best for a potential loser militarily or economically to join the winner early and completely. So that was just a little satirical remark by a man with a bit of imagination but with zero political influence.
Written on January 16, 2025 by Tomáš Očadlík, Prague
Czech Colony Bookstall in 2022
American history could be our model.
